The Five Love Languages
While on a bike ride around the Long Beach harbor with a friend of mine, he told me about a book he and his girlfriend read together called The 5 Love Languages. I had never heard of the book so he went on to explain there are five ways people express and receive love, and it’s helpful to know where you and your partner fall in the spectrum of love languages.
I was intrigued by the concept, so I mentioned it to Darlene later that evening. She said one of her friends had also recently told her about the Five Love Languages. However, her friend took an online quiz that helped her and her boyfriend learn what their love languages were.
It was an easy decision for us to determine that we’d both rather take a quick online quiz as opposed to buying and reading an entire book, so that Saturday during Date Night we sat on the couch with our laptops, took the quiz, and discussed our results. Between taking the quiz and talking about the answers, the entire exercise only took about 30 minutes, but we both agree that it was one of the best investments we have made in our relationship.
That night we learned how important it is to express love to your partner in a way that they can properly receive it. Equally as important, we also learned for ourselves how we personally receive and interpret love the best. Knowing these things can prevent tons of problems that may come up in a relationship, and really strengthens the bond between you through effective communication.
Here’s a brief synopsis of the five love languages…
Words of Affirmation
Verbal compliments or reassurance, usually simple and straightforward.
Example: You look great today, babe. Or… I love you so much sweetheart.
Acts of Service:
Doing things you know your partner will appreciate.
Example: Making the bed.
Physical contact where the motive is to show love.
Example: Running your fingers through his/her hair while watching TV.
Spending time with someone while giving your undivided attention.
Example: Going for a walk and having a good conversation.
Giving items someone can see, touch, or hold as to be reminded that the other person was thinking of them.
Example: Buying flowers, or writing a sweet note.
What were our results?
Darlene’s main love language is Words of Affirmation. If I were to buy Darlene gifts, sure she would appreciate them, but she still wouldn’t feel fulfilled. However, if I tell her she’s pretty and I appreciate her each day, she has everything she needs to feel loved, happy, and secure.
My primary love language is Acts of Service. I would rather Darlene show me she loves me instead of telling me she loves me, which she does by completing small chores around the house like making the bed or preparing my morning oatmeal. These small things mean a lot to me and ensure me she’s always thinking of ways to make me happy, which makes me feel loved and appreciated.
We have no affiliation with Five Languages of Love (besides our Amazon affiliate link), but we truly feel like we grew stronger together after taking the online quiz and talking openly about the results. We’d encourage every couple to learn their love languages and create an open dialogue about how they can improve their giving and receiving of love!